Dec 18, 2008

something for the soul

Read this on the forum jus now.. Soo true

becoming a pair of parents is a change from being a childless couple. where you once would go for a weekend getaway, drive around for nice restaurants and park-tor spots, or laze about at pool side, you now have to plan your lives around a sensitive little baby, who can communicate with cries. We used to like eating at hawker centres, seeking out famous, recommended and novel hawker foods, we now select our eating out options based on whether they have space to squeeze in a stroller on the side, whether they are noisy, whether there is parking nearby and if there is time before his next feed. Going out was picking up the wallet, handphone and keys, now its a whole checklist of diapers, pacifiers, milk supply, clean bottles, change of clothes etc etc...

certainly life has changed... our time for each other has too... no more lovey-dovey, teasing and gentle massages before sleep. By the time bed time comes around, we just want to make sure baby is fed and changed, mommy has expressed milk and the brains shut off the moment the feet touch the bedroom floor!

its so easy to transfer all our love to that helpless little bundle that need us so much more that we forget to keep some for the other person we promised to spend the rest of our lives loving, cherishing, caring and honouring.

sure, sex is a big part of relationship... actually intimacy is... but it is not everything. somehow, take care of the heart and soul, and let the sex come... rush it, and you realise that it is even more stressful.

we will all grow old and lose our sex drives, and hopefully that happens before we lose our memories and brains... and forget why we loved each other in the first place.

try to squeeze in a gentle squeeze, a loving word, a teasing wink, and quick morning/night kiss... maybe that loving feeling will come back.

if you are more communicative, write short notes, like you would with your school day crush...

if you can cook, cook something nice... cook something nice together... if not, try to see if any relative would take baby for a few hours on the weekend and go to a nice restaurant or movie... go dating... to rediscover each other... not with the goal of getting each other in bed at the end of the date...

if you do get in bed... don't be disappointed that hubby has now added a spare tyre over the few months... or that he is no longer the sex machine that he once was... probably you should be glad that he is not... cos he probably would "perform" better if he had been "practising" on the sly... be happy with the extra cushion and the extra time for foreplay and hugs... it will all come back.. your sensitivity and his stamina and responsiveness

remember, being parents does not mean that you are no longer lovers... just that loving each other has taken on a whole new meaning and significance because you now have something that was the product of your love to show off.

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